Five Things Every Single Should Consider

True story…I was in so many weddings that the manager of the local tuxedo shop knew me by my first name. As a matter of fact, the last time I rented a tux from him he didn't let me pay for it because he felt sorry for me that I had been in so many weddings and I wasn't married yet myself!

Being single can be completely overwhelming. One minute you can feel ridiculously stressed about big decisions you have to make when you're not sure where you might be in five years (or who you might be with in five years) and the next minute you can feel utterly alone because there's no one to help make that big decision with you. Singleness CAN be a whirlwind of emotions, but I want to tell you these five truths to consider when you're feeling overwhelmed.

#1 – Singleness is not a sickness, it's a season in your life that should be lived well.

Don't complain about the fact you are single-LIVE YOUR LIFE! Develop deep friendships, create memories, allow Jesus to shape your heart and mind, travel, meet new people, laugh a lot and try new things. Times like these are never wasted. And whenever you DO meet your future spouse, you'll have all of these stories and adventures to share with them from when you were single.

#2 – Don't allow loneliness to lead you.

Guys, don't play with a girls heart because you have nothing to do on the weekend.

Girls, don't go fishing (this is what I call texting a guy, hoping he will respond) when you are alone on Friday night and just wish someone would call.

Desperation in dating always leads to destruction-always.

#3 – Don't find your identity in dating.

All too often people believe that if they are dating that they are valuable, and if they are not dating then something must be wrong with them.

However, if you are in Christ your value is based on the price JESUS paid for you, not whether or not you have a date this Friday.

#4 – Hang out with married people.

If you want to have a GREAT marriage one day, then find some couples who you believe have a GREAT marriage and ask if can you hang out with them from time to time. You will learn a lot more about marriage by hanging out with people who are actually married than with a bunch of singles sitting at a bar speculating what a good spouse should/should not be!

#5 – Be Yourself!

I've had way too many conversations with singles who are petrified about being who they really are for fear the person who asked them out may not like them.

If you pretend to be someone you are not then you are not being fair to the person who asked you out, to yourself and Jesus (the One who created you unique for His glory).

If a person cannot see value in who you are that is their problem, not yours.

Don't allow being an overwhelmed single to lead you to a place where you feel desperate and alone. Jesus is greater than your singleness, and if you fix your eyes on Him I promise you will walk through this season with rejoicing and not regret.

Perry Noble is the founding and senior pastor of NewSpring Church in South Carolina. The church averages 26,000 people during weekend services at multiple campuses throughout the state. Noble, his wife Lucretia and their daughter Charisse live in Anderson, South Carolina. You can read all of Perry's unfiltered thoughts about life and leadership at

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